I think it's all been made clear. At the end of the summer I began to pray about what I should do with my life, in the here and now, in the near future, and in the long term. I've really been struggling with it. Should I be a choir director, or should I be a worship leader? Which is what I want and which is what God wants for me, and do they match up? How can I serve around here, being at college? What should I do next summer? Should I do fulltime next year? All these questions I've just been wondering about constantly. I was so worried about it for like the first month after cti. and then, I decided I didn't need to know. Eventually, if I just stayed close with God and sought after His will, not my own, that he would let me know where I should go. I decided to stop worrying about it.
Today's sermon at church was about Paul and his journeys. The main theme of the message was that Paul didn't "play it safe". He went out of his comfort zone. He did things that weren't exactly convenient at the time for him. The convenience thing really got me. Right now, it would be convenient for me to just stay at school and do all that whole jazz right in a row like what's normal for most people. But then he read Acts 20:24:
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given to me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace."
I want that to be my life. It's all about that really. In Ephesians it says that we were created to do good works that God prepared in advance for us to do. My life is about doing what God set out for me. It's all that I can do to thank Him for what He's done for me. He is the composer and director of my life. I don't want to let CTI pass me by just because it's not convenient for me to do. I'm pretty sure that's what God's calling me towards, and I don't want to say no.
But that doesn't answer my question about how I can be serving now. I really think I want to see if I can in some way help out with the high school youth group at Aida. My sister's helping, so I could easily get a ride there, and I would just really like to lead some kids along you know? In a sermon I heard at my church at home right before I left for college, the pastor said that we all need mentors and we need to be mentees. We need somebody who can help us along, and we need to help others along in their walk. I think this is a way that I can help others along in their walk. I think I'd really enjoy it, and it's something that I can do to serve at the church instead of just going there every Sunday. So, I'm going to email the guy today.
I think that's enough of me babbling. I've got too much homework to do.
-C
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