Well, it's been quite a challenging few days. From breaking down into tears on Monday to snapping at my sister today. It's been hard. I've been anxious. Worried. Freaking out. It hasn't been fun. My shoulders have been so tight for so long. On Monday, I was so overwhelmed that I just started crying at the end of the day. I didn't see how any of it could possible work out. I thought I failed my Music History test, I thought my presentation would fail, and I thought that nobody from my dorm would show up to the event I planned. Basically I wasn't trusting God at all. I was trying to do it myself, which is what I do way too often.
So on Monday night, I was talking to my boyfriend, and he was encouraging me to just stop worrying and give it to God. And it started to click. I hadn't been trusting. I care way too much about what people think. I feel like I need to do everything by myself, and do it perfectly. I am learning that I need to let go.
So that night after I got off the phone, I was crying and I opened up my Bible. What did I open to? Isaiah 30:19 where it says: O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you. At that moment I opened a text message from my friend Melissa that said: the Lord answers those who cry for help. That was so clearly God speaking to me. Then I read Psalm 91, which was such a comfort to me.
Yesterday morning in chapel a speaker spoke over Philippians 4:4-7. Later in the day I received a text from my boyfriend telling me to read Philippians 4:4-7. If that's not clear enough, in choir we performed a song that used lyrics from Philippians 4:4-7. Now if that's not a bright shining neon sign, then keep listening. Later that night at the scholarship dinner, a man was speaking, and he mentioned a verse. He read this verse. What passage was it? Philippians 4:4-7. Now, it is clearly a bright billboard, but even better, in Bible study that night, we were reading Philippians 4:4-7. Incredible how God works. He was crying out to me to just talk to him! To just let HIM take care of me! Just to ask for help!
Today God has blessed me so much! He gave me an A on my Music History test, our presentation went well, and people showed up to the event I planned. Wow. It was so cool. When we went to serve this dinner called the Love Feast, I just was able to see what it really means to live like Jesus. Serving low-income families each week. These people that lead these dinners are so selfless. They are truly living what it means to be a follower of Christ. We worshiped after dinner. It was so great. I was just so happy God got me through this day.
Praise God.
-C
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