Do you ever feel like you've failed? Failed at being patient and kind. Sigh. I feel that way. This weekend I've just been so annoyed with myself. I keep getting annoyed at pointless things, and frustrated over nothing at all. I feel sad because I've kind of forgotten to put God first this weekend. I feel like I ditched Him. And I feel like I've also been just a huge jerk. I just haven't been very nice this weekend.
I just feel very discouraged. I wish I could always be passionate about God. I wish I could REALLY truly genuinely live it out. Clearly. No questions asked. Without fear, I could live the life I want to live. But it's so hard.
"I lift my eyes to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the one who made the earth and the heavens. I believe you are more than what my eyes can see. I believe these hills are filled with an angel army."
I need to believe that, and live with that in mind.
God, I'm so discouraged right now. I'm sorry for the way I've treated people this weekend. I'm sorry for the way I treated you this weekend. Forgive me.
-C
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