Yep. That's right. I can go to it, but for some reason when I sign in, it says I have no blogs. Strange, but I guess that's alright. I'll just have to start this one and hope it doesn't disappear.
So I'm leaving for CTI in 3 days. Three days. I'm quite worried. The anticipation is killing me. I know I'll have a wonderful time, but I don't really know what to expect. I fear that my faith story will be crappy and my devotions won't be right. I fear that I'll get super sick in Guatemala or something. There's certain people that I've already had to say goodbye to, and I miss them so much already. I'm not going to be able to contact them for six weeks. I don't know. I'm just really going to miss them. I wish I could see them, or take them with me. Also, after Passport craziness, quite honestly I don't feel like meeting any more new people.
I'm overwhelmed by all these transitions that I will be going through. After I get back from CTI, I'll transition to being back at home, but then 2 weeks later, I'll have to transition to being at Calvin, which also worries me because of the giant amount of homework that I know is looming ahead. I feel like I will be swamped with more than what I can handle. And I hate Biology.
So beside all that, I realized today what a crappy person I've been lately. I've been so evil to my parents, frustrated with everybody, and not willing to tolerate any sort of stupidity or annoyance. It's probably because of all that's going on. But I just want to be pleasant again. My mother asked where she failed in me today. What a wonderful thing to hear. Makes you feel so good. On top of that, I've been kinda ignoring God, not doing my devos. I don't even know why. I just haven't felt like it, and so I don't do them. Which is awful. I just don't know what's gotten into me. Hopefully it'll get better when I leave for Minnesota.
-C
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