I feel bad...

I haven't updated this thing-er-mer-bob yet. I'm sorry to all the readers.

I got here two weeks ago. I love my host family. They are super awesome. I'm staying on a farm. They have two horses! and some cows. I'm staying with two other girls: Madeleine (keys for Serbia) and Chelsea (vocals for Guatemala). I'm having a super blast. I couldn't be having more fun. I couldn't be loving it more.

Tonight was the final night. We had our commissioning service tonight. It was really really good. When I was singing the song "You're Beautiful" by Phil Wickham, I really realized that we were all totally unified. We were all just crying out to God and praising and worshipping him together. It was so cool. We had communion together and our leaders washed our feet. It was just so great. I was singing a Hillsong song...I forget what it's called...and I just had to stop singing because I was smiling too wide. I just couldn't even sing I was so happy. This is what we were made for. We were made to worship God with our whole lives. There is joy in that. Really. Joy. I love how much joy I get when I'm close to my Father. It's the greatest thing anyone could ever ask for. The love from my Savior, and the joy that comes from that.

CTI has been amazing so far. Thanks to all of you who look forward to reading this blog even though I totally didn't update it at all. I've been really really really busy...we had training every day from 8 in the morning till 8:30 at night...so time was kinda limited. I really appreciate all your prayers though.

Tomorrow I leave for Guatemala. My plane takes off at 2:55 pm. So pray that that goes well. I'm really excited to see what God has planned.

If I've learned anything so far, it's that it's not about me. It's about Him. That's probably one of the most important things anyone could ever learn.

-C

Tomorrow is the big day...

I leave for Willmar, MN tomorrow! It's exciting! I'm all done packing, and now I just hope I didn't forget anything.
Excuse me while I go get something that I forgot....

It's crazy. It seems like just yesterday I sent in my audition cd to CTI, and now all of a sudden I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm extremely excited, but also a little nervous. There's just that thought in the back of my head that somehow I won't match up. But I know that God has me doing this for a reason.

Yesterday was a great service at church. I was playing for it, and the video that started off the service was wonderful. It was a great reminder to me that worship isn't at all about me. It's about God. It's about bringing all the stuff that I struggle with to the cross and just declaring His greatness. I often need that reminder.

So tomorrow I leave at like 7:30 in the morning. I should get to Willmar sometime a little before 5.

Pray for safe travels.

Thanks.

-C

So my blog disappeared...

Yep. That's right. I can go to it, but for some reason when I sign in, it says I have no blogs. Strange, but I guess that's alright. I'll just have to start this one and hope it doesn't disappear.

So I'm leaving for CTI in 3 days. Three days. I'm quite worried. The anticipation is killing me. I know I'll have a wonderful time, but I don't really know what to expect. I fear that my faith story will be crappy and my devotions won't be right. I fear that I'll get super sick in Guatemala or something. There's certain people that I've already had to say goodbye to, and I miss them so much already. I'm not going to be able to contact them for six weeks. I don't know. I'm just really going to miss them. I wish I could see them, or take them with me. Also, after Passport craziness, quite honestly I don't feel like meeting any more new people.

I'm overwhelmed by all these transitions that I will be going through. After I get back from CTI, I'll transition to being back at home, but then 2 weeks later, I'll have to transition to being at Calvin, which also worries me because of the giant amount of homework that I know is looming ahead. I feel like I will be swamped with more than what I can handle. And I hate Biology.

So beside all that, I realized today what a crappy person I've been lately. I've been so evil to my parents, frustrated with everybody, and not willing to tolerate any sort of stupidity or annoyance. It's probably because of all that's going on. But I just want to be pleasant again. My mother asked where she failed in me today. What a wonderful thing to hear. Makes you feel so good. On top of that, I've been kinda ignoring God, not doing my devos. I don't even know why. I just haven't felt like it, and so I don't do them. Which is awful. I just don't know what's gotten into me. Hopefully it'll get better when I leave for Minnesota.

-C